You wrote one of these right?
Your middle/high school English teacher told you to write it. You'd put everything that was happening now, and everything that you hoped would happen. Then they'd make you write down your address, and they said they'd send it to you in 10 years.
I never got mine. I think it would be near impossible for my high school to know where to send it. At that point, I lived in a vastly different house, my parents have moved twice since then. I've moved across the country. Chances are, I'm never going to see it.
Here's the thing though - my high school self had absolutely no idea what was going to happen. And if I were to write a letter to myself in ten years from now, I am positive that I would get it all wrong now too.
So instead, we're going to pretend. Let's pretend that the internet stores all the information, from every possible timeline, forwards and backwards. Let's pretend that 10 years ago, when I was 14, I found this blog, and I read this. This is what I would want my 14 year old self to know.
Dear 14 Year Old Me,
Your life sucks right now. Seriously, I know. You can't really imagine it getting any worse.
And it does. Sorry. That's going to happen.
Wait don't stop reading yet! There's something amazing at the end of this letter, just read the whole thing okay? Promise? Alright.
Really though, things are about to get awful. You're gonna think about jumping off of the roof of a building. You're gonna dangle your foot over the side and that's a really dumb idea so don't do that. You don't hurt yourself, or anyone else, but it does freak out literally everyone who knows you so don't. Save yourself the long winded speeches.
Things are gonna get so freaking bad that you're gonna think that you're all alone in the dang universe. But you're gonna have the best friends you could possibly rely on. Everyone's gonna be there for you. Well, not everyone, but everyone who really counts. (The ones you'll keep in touch with! More on that later.)
Not gonna lie me, you're gonna make a lot of mistakes. I mean a ton of them. And you're gonna hurt some people - not intentionally - but you're gonna have to live with that. But you are stubborn as a mule, and you're gonna learn that despite anyone's advice you have a tendency to do whatever you feel is right regardless. Sometimes you're right. A lot of the times you aren't. But they're your mistakes. Own them. Learn from them.
You're gonna go through some shit. And it's gonna suck. But you're gonna survive. You're gonna do better than survive. You're gonna get out.
Yes.
You heard me.
You fucking escape. You get out of that hellhole. It's AWESOME.
And yes, you'll stop talking to like, 90% of the people you know in school. It's GREAT. You're gonna meet new people. People who actually get you, and not just pretend to get you, so that they can get more gossip on you to spread around to those really awful people. You'll have friends, in the plural. You won't be soul crushingly lonely anymore. Surprise! Wow, I sound lame. Yep, sorry, you continue to be pretty socially awkward and you never really quite get over that. But that's okay, because you learn to communicate like a normal human being.
You're gonna do exactly what you want to do with your life. Isn't that fucking crazy? Turns out, you don't totally suck at that thing you really enjoy doing. That's cool. And it turns into a career. It's gonna be a real struggle, but it's so worth it. I mean, literally everything in your life hasn't been easy and will continue to be a struggle so you're already used to that.
Speaking of which, you stop puking after running the mile sometime in high school! Running is still hard, but at least you become slightly more athletically competent. No more puking up your guts from a little cardio though. No, you don't get weird and sporty, don't worry about that. You do martial arts and circus stuff. All that shit in movies that you really wish you were physically able to try? You just do it because you reach a point where your body doesn't revolt anymore from exercise. Hooray!
I'm sure you're wondering the most important thing, and yes.
Yes you did.
Your hair is purple and it looks awesome. It is exactly what you hoped it would look like on your head.
So yeah, get ready me. You're gonna start jumping through hurdles like you wouldn't believe. Buckle up, and try to enjoy the ride. In the end, you'll get out. You're gonna be grateful for everyday you wake up instead of wondering why you bothered with waking up. Life is gonna be beautiful and you'll pretend to be jaded, but really you're gonna be so happy it'll be hard convincing people that you're jaded. It's that good. So hang in there. Chin up, don't let the assholes bring you down.
With much love,
Me, 24 years old.
