I can has childhood?

Sometimes I feel closer to kids than I do people my own age.
Nowadays, it seems that all most people do is work, fuck, drink, and sleep.

Every once in a while, I just wanna sit and talk about how awesome the Sonic games are, or get really excited about a conversation that consist of "BWARGLE!" and other made up words.
I want to dance around on a trampoline.
I want to have lego building parties.
I really want to run around a playground.

And I seriously want to get rid of all this drama: parent drama, car drama, job drama, work drama, school drama, drinking drama, smoking drama, fucking drama.

Can I go play Mario Kart now?

Fucking Toad.

I used to dream.

I used to dream that my teeth wiggled around in my mouth. They'd get loose, and then I'd spit them out, or swallow them.

I used to dream that I was drowning, and I smiled as I saw the sun through the water.

I used to dream that I was driving a car, but I couldn't control it. I'd crash, over and over.

I used to dream that I was going to be murdered by a life-sized doll.

I used to ask what they meant.

Now I just let them pass.

On Bad Habits

Bad habits. We've all got em. Whether we like to acknowledge them or not, they're still there. Kinda like ignoring someone in hopes that they'll get the hint and leave. In which they don't.

I think summer magnifies bad habits. It's like the excessive amount of sun makes generally lazy people worthless piles of shit, annoying people more useless things to jabber about, and so on.

Here's my bad habit: Saying I'm going to do something and not doing it.

During the school year I could say: I'm doing these classes, this for lunch, this amount of practice, study these things, and then I'll watch this movie and go to bed. And I'd do the classes, maybe the lunch, most of the practice, some of the studying, and probably not the movie.

The summer is much, much worse.

In the summer I have TONS of time. But because I'm not on a schedule, I can never do what I wanted to do, because I don't have to plan it into a 1-2 hour time slot.

For example: today I wanted to make sea salt icecream earrings, get to the next chapter in my book for my music class, and practice my flute.

I accomplished getting through a chapter.

And what prevented me from making earrings/practicing?
I'm not quite sure. I somehow ended up going out to some stores, bought some fruit at a fresh produce stand, and doing a whole lot of nothing on the internet. Not all that productive. Kinda fun, but definitely not what I planned.

On a larger scale, during the summer I always say I'm going to do something BIG. Like a road trip to Kansas City. Or skydiving. Going to the pool (not all that big...but I always manage to forget to go...) Working on my novel (also not big, definitely something I should do, but never do) or have a huge party with my friends.

I never do these things. I plan them out a lot of times. I spend mass amounts of time just thinking about doing them, but I never actually do them. I think this might just be another symptom of my current status: being a lazy pile.

I suppose this week I'll attempt to accomplish something. Or maybe I'll just think about accomplishing something. Either way, I'll be letting my terrible habits take over. After all, it is summer, so I'll blame that until fall comes.

....thats probably another bad habit, isn't it?