Review and Resolutions

2011 was a crazy year. After reminiscing about what all occurred in my life, I decided to write down some of the ridiculous shit and share them with you.
Oh, and also, I've got some stuff to say to 2012 too.

So lets check out 2011.

• accomplished first semester of college
• had several mental breakdowns throughout said semester
• didn't die, hooray!
  
• made strides to become more independent and self-sufficient
• used the metro bus system for the first time (add +30 to transportation)
  
• gained car (add +70 to transportation)
• lost/grew apart from close (and closest) friends
• found out who true friends really were (I LOVE YOU GUYS)

So 2012.

Here's the deal.

I've got some resolutions for you to tango with.

1. Find ways to de-stress regularly throughout the week. If I don't, I will break down from the stress of school. The end.
   
2. Don't die.
   
3. Become a better person. Hell, everyone needs improvements, and I know I have plenty of things I need to work on.

These aren't quite resolutions, but these are the things I'll be working on for 2012, so look out for them in the upcoming months:

Expanding YummyShinyThings (my jewelry line): I'll be actually creating an online store that will be fully functional hopefully in the next few weeks (definitely before the end of January!) I'm also going to try to get my jewelry in more shops for those of you that like to shop locally :D

Making Music: Besides the normal stuff you see from a music major in college, I'm going to attempt more online music projects, so keep an eye out for those.

Rantings: I'm going to continue to rant about stuff as regularly as possible, but I'm also gonna add some stuff. For example, I'm going to start making "How To" tutorials, and I'm going try to use more pictures in my rants for you to look at. If you have ANY suggestions as to what you'd like to read about, feel free to leave a comment!

And with that I'll leave you with a pretty picture for no reason whatsoever!

FWEEEEEEE!

....I need sleep.

This ends now.

I'm tired of feeling small and insecure.
I'm tired of feeling like I can't live up to anyone's expectations (including my own).
I'm tired of running to the bathroom between classes to cry.
I'm tired of being frustrated, that turns into anger, that turns into hot tears.
I'm tired of being told that I am not strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, skinny enough, witty enough, work hard enough, or courageous enough.
I'm tired of being less than what I could be.
This ends now.
This ends today.

On Bad Habits

Bad habits. We've all got em. Whether we like to acknowledge them or not, they're still there. Kinda like ignoring someone in hopes that they'll get the hint and leave. In which they don't.

I think summer magnifies bad habits. It's like the excessive amount of sun makes generally lazy people worthless piles of shit, annoying people more useless things to jabber about, and so on.

Here's my bad habit: Saying I'm going to do something and not doing it.

During the school year I could say: I'm doing these classes, this for lunch, this amount of practice, study these things, and then I'll watch this movie and go to bed. And I'd do the classes, maybe the lunch, most of the practice, some of the studying, and probably not the movie.

The summer is much, much worse.

In the summer I have TONS of time. But because I'm not on a schedule, I can never do what I wanted to do, because I don't have to plan it into a 1-2 hour time slot.

For example: today I wanted to make sea salt icecream earrings, get to the next chapter in my book for my music class, and practice my flute.

I accomplished getting through a chapter.

And what prevented me from making earrings/practicing?
I'm not quite sure. I somehow ended up going out to some stores, bought some fruit at a fresh produce stand, and doing a whole lot of nothing on the internet. Not all that productive. Kinda fun, but definitely not what I planned.

On a larger scale, during the summer I always say I'm going to do something BIG. Like a road trip to Kansas City. Or skydiving. Going to the pool (not all that big...but I always manage to forget to go...) Working on my novel (also not big, definitely something I should do, but never do) or have a huge party with my friends.

I never do these things. I plan them out a lot of times. I spend mass amounts of time just thinking about doing them, but I never actually do them. I think this might just be another symptom of my current status: being a lazy pile.

I suppose this week I'll attempt to accomplish something. Or maybe I'll just think about accomplishing something. Either way, I'll be letting my terrible habits take over. After all, it is summer, so I'll blame that until fall comes.

....thats probably another bad habit, isn't it?

Take your personality, and cram it in this format.

After jump-starting my car and an apology, I finally made it to my job interview an hour late. (I called before-hand, so this really wasn't a problem) I was already pretty annoyed by my stupidity (don't leave the lights on overnight! The battery will DIE.) and my family seemed determined to make my day especially terrible.
So I already started my interview looking like crap.

The questions were fairly typical. "Tell me about yourself". "What do you know about the company?"
And then: "If you could describe yourself in three adjectives what would they be?"
Seriously?

How do you describe the whole of your personality (while projecting yourself as a great person that they want to hire) with THREE ADJECTIVES?

Consider. Your personality is extremely complicated. Look at the list below and count how many adjectives you think describe you.

practical; persistent; careful; introverted; emotional; impulsive; athletic; conforming; achieving; confident; expressive; flexible; rugged; down-to-earth; curious; analytical; imaginative; idealistic; stable; self-reliant; precise; intellectual; unordered; original; frank; independent; creative; helpful; understanding; energetic; adventurous; conscientious; moderate; insightful; popular; driving; powerful; persistent; orderly; kind; cooperative; ambitious; persuasive; organized; efficient; friendly; responsible; assertive; competitive; obedient; detailed; tactful; flirtatious; enthusiastic; dependable; thorough

Did you only find three to describe yourself?
I don't think so.

I found four in the first line.

You can't possibly understand what a person is like if you only know three adjectives to describe them by.

It's like trying to take a play by Shakespeare and telling the whole story in a sentence. Here's your whole personality, now cram it in this format.

So I promptly listed off three generic-positive adjectives. I finished the interview, bid them good day, and went on my way.

Thanks to you, I'm a creative weirdo

I've always been a bit of a weirdo.
Okay.
Not just a bit. More like, really really weird.
I would just sit around, making random crap out of godknowswhat, glue/paint/dirt/berries/leaves/legos, and once I had finished I felt extremely accomplished.
I figured one day I'd probably grow out of that.
Nope.
Here I sit, waiting for the earrings I just glazed to dry (which look like various food items), while making a bracelet out of starburst wrappers.

I love to make things. I've been drawing as long as I can remember, and once I discovered the beauty of written words I began writing stories. I gave up making usable objects for a while, but here I am again, making random crap that people may or may not want to wear.

Thing is - I really love it. My hobby of making stuff/drawing stuff/writing stuff: creation. It brings me joy. And today, while sitting in front of my earrings, applying glaze (which smells pretty strong...I might have to blame these thoughts on that glaze...), it occurred to me. I wouldn't have been drawing/writing/making if not for the people that have supported my weirdness. I would have given it up, thinking that it wasn't good enough and that I was wasting my time.

To the friend who said making cupcake earrings was a great idea
to the friend who said she loved my blog posts
to the friend who said the drawing was amazing
to the many many friends who said they wanted to see more
thank you - to my friends that have supported me the most in this crazy year.

By the way: if you're wondering why the uncharacteristically pleasantness is seeping through this post, if you live in nebraska, GO OUTSIDE. ITS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL OUT.
....not needing to wear a jacket just makes me entirely too happy.