Phobia - 1 Me - 0

In case you didn't know, a phobia is defined as:

a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

Believe it or not, I suffer from a rather acute form of Ligyrophobia, also known as "the fear of noise". More specifically, I have the awful, all-encompassing fear of the sound of gunshot.

Let me back up a second. For those of you who know me quite well, you might be thinking, "Wait what? You know about guns, her friends love guns, what's the problem?"

I do not suffer from the fear of guns. I can see them, touch them, understand how they function and so on. I am not phobic about the idea of getting shot (I have a healthy dose of respect and normal fear like most people). However, I am literally terrified of the sound that it produces.
There is no logic behind this. I am a fairly logical individual, and I understand that there is no basis behind my fear. Therefore, it is a phobia.

It used to be worse. Anything remotely sounding like a gunshot would make me cry. For example, the sound of a bass drum being hit. I still have to either cover my ears or be indoors when fireworks go off, or I will in fact shriek in terror. I couldn't go to see a movie in theaters if I knew that there would be guns. At least I've gotten over that part.

So today, I decided to climb Mt.Everest. Unfortunately, the only ways to conquer a phobia is to either have hypnotism done (no thank you), or exposure therapy. I've been rather tired of running away from pretty firework displays and being unable to go to the range with my friends, so I went to the range today.

I shot an assault rifle - an Norinko SKS-D Sporter. Six times to be precise.

This is the part where you want to hear that I had a great experience, realized the irrationality of my fears, and cured myself of my phobia.
If you'd like to believe that, go ahead and stop reading. Change the page to youtube or something.

After the first shot, I started crying. I just told myself: "Don't run. Don't run." Over and over and over until I finished shooting. Once I left, I felt numb.
I crumbled. I couldn't really think for about an hour afterwards. I cried a lot. I might have screamed, but I really can't be sure. My everything trembled. I gnashed my teeth, pulled at my hair, and fell apart.

I don't know if I'll be able to do that again. I do know that I was able to pinpoint my phobia though - it was easier when I shot the gun because I knew when the sound would occur. But the people around that was shooting - that was the worst.

But hell, at least I did it. I gave it a fighting chance. And that's all I could really ask for.

New Format and Feelin' Squishy

I decided it was time for a change.
So "yay", new format.

It's going to take some getting used to, but I like it.

There's a new bar at the top of the page....it says "Home" and "Meet the Ranting Fool" and "About".
"Meet the Ranting Fool" will bring you to a little schpeel about me.

"About" will bring you to something that isn't in English. I have no idea what the hell it is, but I can't get rid of it. I have no idea how. I think its somehow a permanent link in the template, so I'm just going to have to deal with it. Don't click on it. Really. It's just weird. I'm going to try and make it go away....but we'll see.

*Edit: The bar is gone now! I just really wanted to get rid of that weird foreign website. So yeah, no more "Meet the Ranting Fool", but oh well.*

But that isn't the main purpose of this post.

The main focus is on a rather new blog.

If you've been following me for a while, you know that I post my poetry. My shitty, shitty poetry.
I tend to write really short, angry little poems, or just really vague stuff. And hey, if you like it, great.

But seriously? If you want to read some awesome poetry, I bid you to check out this blog.

http://oldthoughtsbyayoungman.blogspot.com/

Old Thoughts By a Young Man is a blog written by a friend of mine. His poetry is AMAZING. And he just started his blog! Huzzah! So read it.

Here's some symptoms you shall have from reading his poetry:

feeling squishy inside

swooning
deep contemplation
acute awareness of your limited vocabulary
acute awareness that your own poetry is shitty
giddiness
generally awesome feeling

So go read it. I wouldn't be sending over my own readers to another blog if I didn't think it was some of the most fantastic, pretty shiny things I have read in a while.

READ THE BOOK.

I happen to have a project now that I need to get done with two other individuals. Everything was going okay. We got the books needed to gather our information, and I was skimming through and taking notes.

And then this happened.

"Ugh, I can't believe this. I can't understand this. I hate it when you have to read these."

Really?

You're a college student - and you can't read a non-fiction book and understand it?

What the hell?

Are we so accustomed to professors spoon feeding our information through bullet points that actual college students can't take information from a book?

This cannot be right.

I do not care if you're better at math or science than you are at history.

All you have to do is READ THE BOOK. Its that simple. You don't even need to deduce conclusions from your information - you just need to READ THE INFORMATION.

GAH.

That one Asian chick

Being half-Caucasian and half-Chinese plus living in America means I get this one a lot:
"Hey, you're that one Asian chick!"

Yes, yes I am that one Asian chick. Good thing you know how to qualify my gender with the fact that you can't figure out whether I'm Chinese, Japanese, Korean, or a mix.

Americans (including people of minority ethnicities) have the habit of labeling people by their race, unless they're white. For example, if my friend is trying to explain her other friend to me I might hear:
"The tall blonde girl." Or "The short busty girl". Never the "Tall white red-head". Or the "French short girl."
However, if her friend is of another race I would hear:
"The black girl." or "The Hispanic girl with the curly hair."

Funny enough, Americans also have the habit of thinking that this wouldn't be the case if say, I were in China.
And they're right.
Sort of.
In China, I had the singular reaction of people pointing at me and saying:
"Foreigner!"
In fact, they do that to, well everyone, who isn't Chinese in China.
So they don't say "black person", or "white person", or even "mixed", they just go with "Foreign".

Obviously, this wouldn't really work in America. China has the advantage of the fact that the majority of their populace is Chinese, and all other ethnicities typically are just there on vacation. However, somehow I feel the reaction is a little better. For once I wasn't the Asian girl. I was just....different.

WTF Nebraska, WTF

Today, I drove home from school with the windows down.

.....

Yeah, it's not that interesting or terribly exciting.

But check out the date.

ITS JANUARY 30th.

I'm sitting outside on the porch, typing this post, in JANUARY.

For those of you not from Nebraska - this is rather strange. 70 degree weather doesn't happen in January. Ever.

Typically, Nebraska in January looks like heavy duty coats, three feet of snow, and -15 degree temperature.

It doesn't look like multitudes of people in the park, light jackets, and driving with the windows down.

So seriously Nebraska, WTF? The last time I checked, we were supposed to be having winter right now. But as far as I can tell, its either spring or late fall. Certainly not winter.

I just don't get it.

Review and Resolutions

2011 was a crazy year. After reminiscing about what all occurred in my life, I decided to write down some of the ridiculous shit and share them with you.
Oh, and also, I've got some stuff to say to 2012 too.

So lets check out 2011.

• accomplished first semester of college
• had several mental breakdowns throughout said semester
• didn't die, hooray!
  
• made strides to become more independent and self-sufficient
• used the metro bus system for the first time (add +30 to transportation)
  
• gained car (add +70 to transportation)
• lost/grew apart from close (and closest) friends
• found out who true friends really were (I LOVE YOU GUYS)

So 2012.

Here's the deal.

I've got some resolutions for you to tango with.

1. Find ways to de-stress regularly throughout the week. If I don't, I will break down from the stress of school. The end.
   
2. Don't die.
   
3. Become a better person. Hell, everyone needs improvements, and I know I have plenty of things I need to work on.

These aren't quite resolutions, but these are the things I'll be working on for 2012, so look out for them in the upcoming months:

Expanding YummyShinyThings (my jewelry line): I'll be actually creating an online store that will be fully functional hopefully in the next few weeks (definitely before the end of January!) I'm also going to try to get my jewelry in more shops for those of you that like to shop locally :D

Making Music: Besides the normal stuff you see from a music major in college, I'm going to attempt more online music projects, so keep an eye out for those.

Rantings: I'm going to continue to rant about stuff as regularly as possible, but I'm also gonna add some stuff. For example, I'm going to start making "How To" tutorials, and I'm going try to use more pictures in my rants for you to look at. If you have ANY suggestions as to what you'd like to read about, feel free to leave a comment!

And with that I'll leave you with a pretty picture for no reason whatsoever!

FWEEEEEEE!

....I need sleep.

Frozen yogurt - lets cut the crap.

I don't typically rant about nutrition.
I am not a calorie counter, in fact I barely check the nutritional facts about food. Typically though, I eat well. I eat lots of fruits and vegetables, not many fatty foods, and few deserts.
But there is one thing that I'm starting to see that really pisses me off.
The new frozen yogurt fad.

They all boast the: "Healthy Alternative to Ice Cream!"
They also follow this formula.

Color:____ + Fruit/plant:______ = Overpriced frozen yogurt.
Ex: Red Mango
Orange Leaf
Pinkberry

Somehow, this magical combination of fruit and color, plus the "modern" decor covered in simple geometric shapes, bright colors, and "do it yourself" dispensers gives people the opportunity to feel "cool and hip for 15 minutes" (I swear, this was said in all seriousness by another blogger) while spending a ton of money on not a lot of food.

Lets look at some numbers.

Red Mango's "Classic Vanilla Bean Yogurt" is only 110 calories. Sounds great! Until you check the serving size. It's 110 calories for 1/2 a cup, which is significantly smaller than the average frozen yogurt eater. On average, people consume around 5oz per serving. At this serving size, the amount of calories goes around 200 calories.

Now don't get me wrong, your average 5oz of "Cold Stone Creamery" is still 320 calories, which is significantly more.

But wait.

The Cold Stone Creamery calories already includes all the cookies, chocolate syrup, marshmallows, fruit, cereal, and chocolate chips that Red Mango offers to pile onto your yogurt.
With all these toppings, the calorie count can bounce up to anywhere between 280-320 calories. Not exactly the "healthy alternative".

But this is just the average. Some people pile tons and tons of frozen yogurt into their cups, and some people visit their favorite frozen yogurt place once or twice a week.

The calories add up.

But this isn't really where I'm concerned. Again, I don't count calories. Here's one of my main issues.

People think that eating frozen yogurt is just like eating regular yogurt.
WRONG.

Frozen yogurt has a third of the protein of regular yogurt, less enzymes and probiotics, and its significantly higher in sugar. In fact, some frozen yogurt actually has MORE sugar than ice cream!

But here's my main issue:

PLEASE, stop acting like you're "eating healthy" when you choose to eat frozen yogurt. Don't be proud because you spent significantly more on frozen yogurt than ice cream. It is not "cool and hip", it does not make you suddenly "higher class", and it does not make you more intelligent.

Stop the bullshit, and eat there if you really like frozen yogurt, not because you think it makes you look like the cool kid on the block.